In fact, I was writing Sex, Purity, and the Longing’s of a Girl’s Heart while I was dating and engaged. I studied God’s incredible design for sex and sexuality. If you want to know how I gained this mindset and went into my wedding night excited for the honeymoon, here’s what I did. That should be the most beautiful, safe, and secure place to enjoy sexual intimacy for the very first time. He’s committed to God to love you like Christ loves the church. The man who has given up all other potential options and has chosen you. This isn’t with some dude who’s committed NOTHING to you! This isn’t with some boyfriend who could leave you for a better “experience” or hotter body. This isn’t some one-night-stand-cheap-thrill. ![]() But, it’s with the man who has entered into a covenant with you and has committed to loving you with all of his life for the rest of his life. Yes, it will be new, different, exciting, thrilling, clumsy, funny, and a total learning experience. Sex within marriage should be the most non-awkward experience ever. ![]() Does that mean Dav and I had sex on our first night of marriage? Maybe we did and maybe we didn’t. It was sweet, new, different, exciting, and filled with all the butterflies a stomach can hold. Being a virgin on my wedding night was not awkward. Talk about ROMANTIC for the newlywed couples. God totally knew what He was doing when He reserved sex for marriage. I think that there’s nothing sexier than two newlywed lovers enjoying and exploring sexual intimacy in the context of marriage. We didn’t force ourselves to follow some “timeline.” We honestly just had a blast enjoying each other and exploring the sweet newness of our marriage. We did what was fun for us and comfortable for us. But, we didn’t allow others expectations of what that should look like to rob us of our journey and experience. Yes, we were freaking excited for the honeymoon and excited to enjoy sex together. I personally think newlyweds would enjoy the honeymoon SO much more if they took the pressure off of themselves. There are NO rules for the wedding night! ![]() If a couple is tired from the entire day (they just had the biggest day of their lives!) they should feel the freedom to relax and go to sleep. There is no reason to feel pressured into doing everything the first night. They have their entire lives to enjoy sex. The pressure others put on newlyweds is ridiculous! For crying out loud. Sex is so much more than a wedding night experience. Who says you have to have sex on your wedding night? I’m not a “pro.” (Whatever a “pro” even is…)įirst off, I want to start by saying this. My hope is that some of your fears and concerns about the wedding night can ease up a bit through my story. I’m going to answer as honestly as possible. Was I excited or terrified about the wedding night? ![]() It seems like most of you want to know if being a virgin on my wedding night was awkward. Today I want to answer the dozens of e-mails and DM’s I’ve received since getting married. I responded to your questions through a blog post titled: Am I Nervous About the Wedding Night? In fact, many of you sent me emails and DM’s before I got married asking me if I was nervous about the wedding night. That isn’t a shock to any of you who’ve followed my story. I was a thirty-year-old virgin on my wedding night.
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